Focus on the GAIN to help you LOSE

Last week I had a coaching session with one of my regular clients.  I have been seeing her since March and she has already lost 12kgs.  She’s focused on getting to her goal by Christmas and has been consistently losing weight and last week was down another 900g, but instead of her usual positivity, she was feeling frustrated.  She talked about how, despite her success, all she could think about was the fact there was still 10kgs to go.   It all felt 'too hard'.  She was deflated and uninspired.

As a coach with 12 years of experience helping people achieve success, I believe strongly in the power of a goal.  But while it’s important to keep your eye on the prize of where you want to get to, it’s just as important to acknowledge how far you have come and the wins you have achieved along the way.

Dan Sullivan and Dr Benjamin Hardy cover this concept brilliantly in their book ‘The Gap and the Gain’.  They talk about how people who desire success often become unstuck (and miserable) because they continually focus on the ‘gap’ between where they currently are and where they want to get to.  In doing so, they often completely forget to acknowledge the ‘gain’ of where they used to be compared to where they are now.

Focusing on the gap leads to frustration, disappointment, low self esteem because the focus is on how far there is to go. Focusing on the gain leads to success, satisfaction, higher confidence and optimism.  It creates a strong platform of self belief to continue making steps and make progress.

This concept is very relevant to weight loss.

It’s important to have a goal of where you want to be on the scales.  But if all you think about is how far there is to go until you reach that goal, it may weaken your mindset and cause frustration.  This will not help you gain momentum or self belief in the moment.

If you feel that frustration, bring yourself back to the gain.  Look at where you used to be and where you are now.   How did you handle food situations previously where now you are making different choices?  In the past you may have turned to food the minute something challenging came up, and now you are making better choices.  

Every kilo lost is a huge win and the road to weight loss success is paved in many wins and victories.  The challenge is to not just focus on the times we messed up but to also acknowledge the good actions we have taken that went well.

Perhaps the most powerful question to ask yourself is this:  “Although I may not yet be at my goal weight, how much higher COULD my weight be if I wasn’t taking action?”

This is what I talked through with my client last week.  We spent our session talking about how depressed she had been when she first came to see me in March.  How if she could rewind the clock back to March and look at herself now she would have been so thrilled to see she was already down 12kgs by September.  How all the behaviours and habits she was developing would help her nail these last 10kgs the same way she had lost the first 12kgs – by taking consistent action, one day at a time.    

It’s important to focus on your goal but by acknowledging the daily wins and celebrating  every success along the way it is a far more enjoyable journey on the way to the finish line.