๏ปฟControl Clarity: How to Stop Stress Eating in Its Tracks
A Why Weight Podcast Episode with Sheryl Takayama
Are you feeling lost in just the everyday overwhelm of life? Like there's so many things on your to-do list, so many things going on in your head that you just don't know where to start? So you go and eat something.
Look, today I want to share with you an extremely simple but powerful exercise that can bring you back to feeling in control in just a few minutes. This is so important as it's going to stop you falling face-first into the food. And it's not just eating that it's going to help you with-it is going to help you in every area of your life.
Welcome to the Why Weight podcast. I'm your host, Sheryl Takayama, qualified nutritionist, emotional eater, and weight loss coach who walks the talk. I've maintained my 30-kilo weight loss for the past 23 years following a low carb plan, and now I coach other women online so they can do the same. It's my mission to help women get off this crazy diet wagon and find a way of eating and a way of thinking that works so you too can lose your weight for life. Join me each week for lots of practical advice, tips, and motivation so you can start now.
The Problem: Stuck in Survival Mode
Today's topic is something that I talk about a lot with my clients, and I've noticed it's been particularly true since 2020, when things did become rather stressful for many of us. And it feels like the stress and overwhelm has just continued.
This really comes into play when it comes to our nutrition and eating and health, because I find that so many women get a little bit stuck in survival mode. There's just so much going on in life that it's hard enough just getting through the day, let alone trying to think about "What am I going to eat? And is this the right meal for me?" That's just almost a step too far.
As a result, people are ignoring their nutrition. They're not staying on track with their food plan, and this feeling of overwhelm is leading to emotional eating, emotional drinking, or other coping mechanisms because we just feel powerless. This feeling of being out of control often drives us to seek control in other substances like food, alcohol, or other behaviors.
The Solution: Control Clarity Exercise
Today I want to share with you a brilliant exercise that I use both myself and with clients to really help get incredibly clear on this overwhelm so that you can get your mind refocused straight away and get back in control.
This exercise is called Control Clarity and it brings you back to the center of your power instantly. It is absolutely perfect to use when you are feeling really overwhelmed, when you've got anxiety before you have to make a big decision, or just when you catch yourself stress eating or drinking.
The brilliant thing is, it takes about five minutes to do, and it is literally going to separate what's draining your energy from what gives you your power.
I only really put it into play myself when we went through that very stressful time in 2020 during Covid, and things were definitely a struggle sometimes. So I started doing this exercise really regularly, and I found that it was just a brilliant way to really refocus myself, get my mind in the right place quickly. After I experienced such success with it, that's when I've really started using it with clients, and I've just had so many clients who have said that this little exercise has helped them immensely.
How to Do the Control Clarity Exercise
What You'll Need:
* A piece of A4 paper
* A pen
* A nice quiet place where you can sit so you won't be interrupted
Step 1: Set Up Your Paper On your piece of paper, draw a line down the middle. On the left-hand side of the page, write: "These are the things I can control." On the right-hand side of the paper, write: "These are the things I cannot control."
Step 2: Brain Dump (5 minutes) Set a timer for about five minutes. Write down everything that is really weighing you down-all of the things that are going on in your head, the things you're worrying about. It might be work situation, it could be relationships, financial worries. Look, whatever is going on, just quickly do a brain dump.
Step 3: Categorize What You Cannot Control On the right side of the paper (the column that you cannot control), categorize the things that you've just written down and list all of the things that you are worried about or thinking about that you literally cannot control.
This might be something like:
* What other people think about you
* What other people are saying to you
* The decisions that other people are making
* How other people are reacting to what you're doing
* External things like the weather, traffic, maybe the state of the economy
* Things that the government are doing
* Whether you get the job or not
* How quickly you're going to lose weight
* Whether your team is going to win in that sports tournament
All of the things that are just going on in your head that are causing you to feel anxious, but actually you have no control over-write them all down.
Step 4: List What You CAN Control Come to that left side of the paper and write down all of the things that you can control in this moment.
From a food perspective, you can control:
* What you eat and when you eat
* How much water you're drinking
* What you are putting on your plate and how much
* What time you go to bed
* What time you're going to get up in the morning
* How much you exercise
You might not be able to control what people are saying to you, but you can certainly control:
* How you react and how you're responding to people
* What you're saying and how you're saying it
* What attitude you're going to give to certain situations
* How you're going to spend your free time today
* What you're going to watch, what you're going to read
* What you're not going to look at
* What boundaries you can create (maybe for social media)
* Most importantly, how you're going to talk to yourself
* What you can control so that you can handle stress better
Just list down everything that you are completely in control of.
Step 5: The Powerful Release After this exercise, you should have a good list of things in each column. Then-and this is the great part-what you do is you fold that piece of paper down the middle, and then you tear it in half. Take that side that was on the right side (all of these things that you cannot control), and you rip it up into little pieces and just throw it away or screw it up. Throw it in the bin if you can. Why not get a little match and burn it?
Honestly, the more symbolic that you can get rid of that side of the paper, the better. It's really psychological because what you are saying to your brain is: "These are the things that I have absolutely no control over, so you know what? I'm just going to let go of it."
Because if you can't control these things, what is the point of worrying about it? There is literally no point at all. So all of these things that are taking up space in your brain that are causing you to be anxious, that are really ruining your positive mindset, I want you to just quite simply let go of them.
Step 6: Focus on Your Power You're going to get that side of the paper that remains-the side that lists all the things that you are in control of. And that is where you want to put your full attention during the day, because it only makes sense that you are going to focus on what you can control, right? Because that's all you can control. And let's face it, just controlling what we can control is going to take enough effort.
Taking It Further
If you wanted to take it a step further, another great thing you can do is look at these actions that you're completely in control of, and maybe add an extra point of how you're going to control that today. For example, you're going to remind yourself: "Yep, I'm in absolute control of what I eat today. So my plan is going to be eggs for breakfast, I'll have leftovers for lunch, and I might have meat and stir-fry for dinner."
Plan it out, because the more detail you can give your brain in that moment, the more clarity you're going to get and confidence that this is very doable. You no longer have to worry about it because your plan is in place.
You might like to carry this list around with you as you go through your day. Sometimes I've literally got my list, and I've stuck it right next to my computer monitor so that during the day, if I find myself spiraling back into those negative thought patterns, I can instantly go back to my list and say: "Nope, I am not going to worry about that today because I'm not in control of that. What can I control?" And I just keep myself coming back to that list throughout the day.
Important Guidelines
Only Include What You're COMPLETELY in Control Of It's important to only include the things that you're in complete control of on your list. You don't want to put things like "making my partner happy" in that column, right? Because you're not actually in control of whether they feel happy or not. All you can do is focus on your actions.
When it comes to weight loss, I also recommend not putting in something like "I am going to lose weight today" or "I'm going to see the scales go down" because again, you're actually not in control of that either. Instead, just focus on the actions-all the things that you know you absolutely can control and you can do-and just trust that as you keep focusing on the actions, those scales are definitely going to start behaving themselves.
Don't Skip the Physical Release Make sure you don't skip the part of actually ripping the paper in half, because I find that really is the powerful part. It's part of that release of just reminding yourself that you have to let go of that other stuff. There is no point worrying about it.
Use This Tool Daily
You can do this as often as you need to. It's a tool that you can use every day. It's not a one-time thing. And like I said, gosh, when I was in lockdown, I was doing it very often because it really felt like there was a lot that was out of my control, and yet it was really stressing me out. So I just had to keep coming back to it each day, and by doing that, it definitely helped.
I found with clients that really most of the overwhelm and the anxiety comes from things that are outside our control. So what is the point in worrying about it?
The Bottom Line
The number one goal in this game, when we're on a weight loss journey, is we've got to do everything possible that we can to make our mind happy, to put the best version of us back in the driver's seat every day. So a simple exercise like this can be really powerful to just help give you that quick reset and get the best version of you making those food decisions each day.
Your Challenge
What I would love you to do if you've been struggling with overwhelm: sometime in the next day or two, I'd love you to get a piece of paper and just give this a try. See if it helps you. See how many things you can list in the "I don't control this" column, and really focus on coming back to all the things that you do control and see if it makes a difference as you're getting through different situations.
I'd love to know if it's as effective for you as it is for so many of my clients. And I'd particularly love to know if it's helping you change your relationship with eating or drinking throughout the day.
Remember: You are not powerless. You have more control than you realize. The key is knowing where to direct your energy. So keep your focus on what you can control and watch how quickly your sense of being in power comes back to you-and the amazing effect this has, not just on your physical health, but on your mental health as well.
Thanks so much for listening. And if you want support on your weight loss journey, I would love to help. You'll see the links in the show notes for my socials, as well as my fab freebie: a five-day low-carb meal plan and five delicious dinner recipes. You'll also see the link for my four-week Foundations of Fat Loss program. This is the program I've designed specifically for the fat-burning needs of women over 35.
Remember, the only thing that's going to stop you reaching your goal is if you quit. Never, ever give up.
